this week, I finished another commission and it took a hell of a long time for me to do.
The problems of making a commission, especially for someone you know well, are never taught in the beginning like the rules of a game is read aloud before people start a game. Each player has a specific position and move in the game, when each will take turns to do something.
When dealing with clients, no one has set rules for it, so all you can bring is what you are used to, and what you think the rules of being a professional adult are.
some people think that we can only show partnership when the process is beautiful and the vision is clear. But as soon as something goes bad, we let go of the hand of each other and point nasty fingers at each other to justify the terrible feeling of resentment and frustration we had with ourselves. we let our anger and frustration about ourselves be aimed towards the other because, it's easier to judge others than it is to look at our own flaws.
some other times, we don't really know what we are looking for in a commission. do we want it to be something to please the audience/please the partnership/bring something new with it.
trying to have a successful friendship while seeing each other as ranks of a commission will never make for what a friendship could have been without the commercial aspect. two people can at the most, be friendly and emotionally check in with each other, but when there is no work to be talked about, no work should be talked about. even when the work has nothing to do with each other. it shows people who you really are behind the layer of work when you are not compressed.
when they start complaining about third party work with each other, the commercial aspect of a relationship starts to not be so important because the layer in which it is discussed is in the ranting layer, which belongs to a personally social layer.
the same is true in other aspects of life, like personal (intimate/family) and spiritual in the religious/corporate aspect. when the first layer of a relationship is religious, members of a same family will see each other as participants of a social gathering more than members of a family. the very self identity of a family changes. the same aspect happens in the nite life. but instead of weakening a family by choice, the nite life community becomes a chosen family.
i have no idea how all this came out of nowhere.
